"Nadene, what the hell is wrong with this corn? It's terrible!"

I did something yesterday that I've never done before, in all my 32 years of living in this southern state amongst rednecks and other interesting characters.

I crapped in a corn field.

I know, you're probably thinking to yourself, "but VW, I thought you used an outhouse?" I actually have indoor plumbing; many of us do. I guess I should explain how this whole new adventure came about, without going into too much detail of course.

I headed out early Saturday morning to meet up with the hot air balloon crew for the maiden voyage of Skybird since the envelope was repaired. As usual for me this early in the morning, I had not eaten breakfast, had taken my medication, and sipped on ice water from 5:30 to 6:15. This is nothing out of the ordinary. After we began laying the envelope out and connecting it to the gondola, I had that sudden "oh, no" feeling. Irrelephant came to my rescue offering up a small bit of toilet paper which he keeps in his jacket for such emergencies, and I headed off into the nearest secluded area, which happened to be a corn field.

About ten or twelve rows in, I could no longer see the crew, the truck, the trailer, or the balloon, so I felt safe enough to take care of what needed to be taken care of. I've omitted the graphic details to save your breakfast/lunch/supper. I joined the crew to continue with the inflation. Moments later, I was in the trailer looking for a toilet paper equivalent and heading back into the corn field. By the way, if you ever get stuck in a situation like this, those disposable blue shop towels aren't too bad when you can't find any toilet paper! Once again, I did what needed to be done, and rejoined the crew for lift off.

Ten minutes into the chase, my stomach growled like I hadn't eaten in ten years. I declared that I was HUNGRY, to which the crew chief asked, "time to reload?"

*groan*

So. I've crapped in a corn field. Something to tell the grandchildren, I'm sure. (Not.)

Have YOU ever been caught in a strange place and forced to NOT use a toilet? Do tell.

Weekly iPod Shuffle Volume 8

Well, 'allo there! Check out what my Pod had to offer this week:

Monday - "Clumsy" by Our Lady Peace

Tuesday - "Joey" by Concrete Blonde

Wednesday - "Warning" by Incubus

Thursday - "Icky Thump" by The White Stripes

Friday - "We're All To Blame" by Sum 41

That's all I got for ya right now. I'm working on something for later; you'll be amused I'm sure.

Weekly iPod Shuffle Volume 7

Monday - "Blurry" by Puddle of Mudd
A VERY good description of how I felt this morning.

Tuesday - "Caught In the Rain" by Revis

Wednesday - I didn't have a chance to listen to my iPod, because we were stuck in a meeting filled with negativity.

Thursday - "Make Up Your Mind" by Theory of a Deadman
A VERY good description of how we all feel leaving meetings like the one that took place on Wednesday. At next month's meeting, they will say the complete opposite of what was said yesterday. It happens every month.

Friday - "Picture" by Filter
This song always makes me happy.

Frisbees Make Shitty Buffers

I took the second test this afternoon, and I have to say that I was MUCH more at ease this go round. I actually recognized some of the items from previous employment and from college Business classes. I may actually have a shot at this position!

Keep your fingers crossed!

In other news, rumors of Resident Asshole's recent termination are running wild at work. I still have no confirmation of this information; therefore, I have no confirmation that I might have a shot in hell of becoming a counselor. After having the possibility dangled in front of me over the last two weeks, today the Big Boss announced that she's pushed an application through to fill the one vacant position we have open since Lazy resigned to become an insurance salesman (if you'll recall, Lazy is the dude who slept on the job). That application isn't mine, because I wasn't approached about any job offer and told to apply for an open position. There was no announcement made regarding an open position. I had no idea they had the OK to fill Lazy's position. Evidently they're going to fill the position without even posting it. I can't WAIT to see what they bring in to replace Lazy. Rumor has it that the replacement is someone my supervisor has been pushing the big boss to hire; someone whom my supervisor used to dog out on a daily basis, going so far as to say he hated her guts. The replacement used to the be the roommate of my supervisor's wife. If they're going to employ her, this could get very interesting, especially if he has to supervise the newbie.

Quite honestly, I don't want Lazy's position; I don't want to work for that particular supervisor, not as a counselor at least. I work for that supervisor now, but there's a buffer of two counselors between him and me. None of this changes the fact that I have to wait and see if the rumors about RA are true and feel bad for hoping they are, because he deserves it.

I'll treading water I suppose.

The Standard Deviation of WTF

That's pretty much how I felt today around 1:13 PM. See, I applied for two city jobs, and today and tomorrow are the days on which the city officials conduct the civil service exams required for those two positions. The test I took today consisted of 61 questions taken straight out of any chapter on tests in any college statistics textbook. The problem is that I haven't looked at such a book since around 2000/2001, and I don't recall studying ANY of the information contained in this test when I took statistics in college. What. The Holy Fuck. I think I answered 5 of the 61 questions correctly. I think there were 8 folks, including myself, taking the exam. They're supposed to notify you via mail of your score, and the top three scores on each exam will secure an interview for the position(s).

*ahem*

and

*sigh*

Late Bloomer

Yep, that's me!
It's about 9,000 degrees out here!!!!