Bare Bones

Hi! Remember me? No, me either.

I know, it’s been a LONG while, and considering the content of my last post, you probably thought I’d offed myself by now.

I’m still alive, still struggling, but I’m making it. Slowly but surely.

Work has been a less than desirable situation for me of late. That sounds silly, I mean, when is work ever desirable for any of us? It’s been more than I’m used to putting up with lately. It’s been full of pettiness and despair and hypocrisy. Once upon a time, it was not so bad, really. Every job has a normal, acceptable amount of stress or grief or annoyance, whatever you prefer to call it. Lately, it seems that every little thing becomes a major affair, whether it’s work related or not, and the important things seem to have given way to the mundane or pointless things.

Who cares if I attend a farewell luncheon for three coworkers who were just laid off? I’m not required to do so by definition of my job description, so why is it any of your business if I pretend to be happily seeing someone off to better things when deep down I know that this whole situation is miserable and hopeless and shouldn’t be viewed as anything other than what it really is . . . total bullshit. I shouldn’t be questioned two hours after the luncheon for which I was not present why I didn’t attend. My lunch break is my time to use as I see fit. You cannot dictate what I do during those 30 precious minutes every week day. It says as much in the rule books, maybe you should refresh your memory.

Why should I come to work and pretend that everything’s fine when the world around me is slowly crumbling under the weight of the economy and the government budget cuts and the other shit I cannot control? My employer certainly isn’t attempting to boost moral, why should I be expected to come to work everyday with a smile on my face and a song in my heart when my face hurts and my heart is empty? The way I see it, I don’t have to do anything other than MY JOB, so back the hell off, unless you have something positive to offer, which I will gladly respond to with an appropriate smile and attitude.

Why am I repeatedly reminded that I’m not qualified to do a job which is dumped upon me on a daily basis by one who refuses to do what she has been deemed qualified to do? Furthermore, why am I not paid her salary to do her job which you claim I’m not qualified to do?

Damned if I know. All I know is that entering this line of work was supposed to be somewhat rewarding in that I would be able to assist others, but the system has failed those who need our help, and we have nothing to offer them other than bare bones and empty promises with ill intentions.

I hate this place.